2 rehearsals today...

Today was a big day - The Song Company and Australian Art Quartet rehearsed my works 

This was the third rehearsal of "30/31 - Lobotomy" with the Australian Art Quartet. We're working without scores, and today we ran the whole work... I was able to give them notes, and multiple runs and note givings later, I think we're ready for a dress rehearsal.

The score is a 4 page 'script' giving suggestions for movement and sound modalities along with an appendix of music notation. Some components are precise, others leave a lot of room for interpretation and improvisation. It's changed so much since we've been going through it in the rehearsal room - to suit the capabilities of the quartet, but also to improve the composition. They give me suggestions and I rarely say 'no', as the work is collaborative. 

Today's rehearsal was with all props and costume... it's almost ritualistic, and to me it reflects what the mind can do to us when we're succumbing to too much information, brainwashing, our inner lunacy.

Part of the original idea was to use a lot of text, but we may end up taking this out... I'm finding the use of text very literal, and the work doesn't need it as the music, movement, costume and props are conveying all the meaning needed by it. This has been the most exciting rehearsal period I've ever done... I'm now playing the role of director as well as composer, as we do read throughs and I give notes that get absorbed for the next run.

The work with The Song Company - Out of the Deep - had its first reading today. It was really refreshing to be collaborating with them on another work again, but this is the first time I've worked with their new director, Antony. His sense of pitch is astounding... I felt kinda nervous as I Do Not have the aural abilities of he nor the singers, but they understand the gesture I want them to achieve in each phrase, and we're able to go into the micro detail of pronunciation and word deconstruction.

I said that I'd like to include some movement in the work, simply around proximity to Daniel, the cellist. Very interested to see if I can add this element to the performance... Space is a very important factor in this work already because of the hocket effects that are throughout the work, and it's composed in mind of there being 2 duets on either side of the cello. If I can add proximity to the cellist and each other as directions (particularly when Daniel the cellist has his solos), I'll be super happy. I am pretty sure we'll get there!

From these experiences I'm having such ideas for works with larger forces - like orchestra, or a 15 piece ensemble... I don't think any of the major orchestras I know would be up for it, but certainly orchestras made up of more unconventional performers would give it a shot... like Sonja Shebeck's Freestyle Orchestra, but perhaps I can find other musicians interested in exploring movement, props, staging, costume and text in their performance that are closer to home...

The work with the AAQ premieres next Wednesday - http://australianartquartet.com/, and with the Song Company in June http://song.company/forward-bach/

The Beginning of the Finish

Alina took this photo of me walking down towards James. who was setting up a group photo

What a week.

Bundanon went extraordinarily well. I didn't update you on the last day yet, and I'll do so now.

I only had Alina, Dan and James at the last session of our residency. It was ok, as Anna was fully aware of the content we were using (it actually had originated from her to begin with!), along with the techniques we were employing (which we'd workshopped together, and I'd discovered the degree of comfort / discomfort over the previous sessions).

I had 2 hours to come up with an 8 minute score.

... for an improviser, this is not hard to be honest. It can take 8 minutes to simultaneously come up with and perform an 8 minute score, so I wasn't so perturbed. However, in this context, the only really comfortable improviser in the quartet was Dan, and I had to make sure that everyone was able to participate in this work and process, not just he and I.

During my run around the paddock earlier in the morning my mind was churning over the creative problem I'd set myself up with... compose the work in full today in a way that expresses the meaning of the text and exploits the talents (and tech) available to me for this project. I mentally went through all the exercises we'd done that week, remembered that everyone really enjoyed flocking. Yes, flocking had to be in there. Considering this was an 8 min work and the beginning was already about 3 mins, there wasn't really that much time left... I'd have to extend it to 10 mins...

Coming back to the cottage, I was all sweaty and puffed, and covered in these bloody grass seeds that stick to your clothes despite going through the wash, I heard James' alarm going off in his room as I entered the front door. EUREKA! that was the piece. The whole thing flashed though my mind.

James and I enjoying the conversation

The night before James said he'd been doing some research on the text and found that the line in the text bothering us the most "You raise the blade, you make the change, you re-arrange me 'till I'm sane" was actually about lobotomisation, not suicide. It was about becoming brain dead. Being brain dead must be a lot like sleep, I thought, and I don't want my piece about becoming and remaining brain dead - yeah sure I'm willing to go there - Yes let's get brain dead in our work (I know how to do that (my mind flashed 1000 scenarios on how to abstractify through sound and movement the raise of a blade and rearrangement of a frontal cortex)) but Let's Wake Up from our physical depiction of brain-deadness to then depict a way we're all socially brain-dead through the use of what little tech is available to me - everyone's mobiles. 

Now originally in the beginning of the work, I got the performers to enter the stage carrying a candle, and replace an instrument with a candle in the middle. We slightly changed it in the new version in that the candles will already be in the centre, with the instruments, and they'll use their phones to light the way instead. 

Before I got into the workshop, I divided the text up into 4 parts of disembodied words (we did stream of consciousness word calling and sentence making in the last session). I would use these to create voices in a collective head that made sense when put together but no sense when played back separately. We'll use our phones at the end of the piece as playback devises of the last bit of the material and simply give the performers movement (/stillness) to perform. We needed to depict some sort of a collapse prior to "raising the blade" and being in a lobotomised state - so I decided to use a compositional devise that I'd used in my work "Quintessential" but have Dan as the protagonist improvise it - that is, a melody picks up characteristics of things that are played at it - with a difference in that he's physically trapped between the other 3 musicians. So Dan's noodling along at this melody trying to wander out of the "trap" when suddenly Anna will Chunk Chunk Chunk droooooooone squibble squibble blerch at him (ok, if only Squarespace had a music score plug in, then I'd write it out, but there again, maybe you don't read music... hmmm...), then Dan will have to take up characteristic of Anna's Chunk Chunk (etc) motif in the noodling he's doing on his violin, as he turns to find another way out of the trap that Anna, Alina and James have crated for him (and are slowly tightening him in). Every time one of the trio gives Dan a new motif, they take a step closer to him... eventually rendering him immobile. At which point he has a collapse. The blade is raised, as it were - and he will be rearranged. (I'm thinking I might go literal here, because it'll be so abstract and cool to see 3 psycho musos raise huge blades over Dan whilst he is going through a musical psychotic episode and descending to the ground). When he's there, his melody (and voice... I want to give him some vocals, like howling), becomes a whimper and the others lower their knives and join him on the floor.

From there they'll do a lobotomised flock - both physically and musically. They flock to eventually being able to walk around, zombie like, playing, their instruments... and eventually find themselves on the floor giving only the slightest piano pianissimo molto sul ponticello al talone sotto atmospheric sounds quivering from their instruments (and synchronised breathing). 

The audience assumes this is the end of the piece. Some will awkwardly clap but nothing will happen... until THE WAKE UP ALARM GOES OFF ON ONE OF THE MUSICIAN'S MOBILES! Quite alarming, considering I'd have made a big fuss at the beginning of the piece about audiences turning off their phones.

So the musicians look confused and annoyed, and sheepishly hand their instrument to a nearby audience member each (can you just hold this for a sec, I'll be right back). The musicians come into the centre the offending alarm is turned off, and (choreographed) they each turn on a sound file that I'd loaded onto their mobiles of each playing a part and saying their part of the text. The phones are placed in glasses pointing in different directions (analogue way of getting multi-directional) and one by one the musicians leave the stage, simply leaving the audience to enjoy the recording from the phones (which is extremely exquisitely tiresomely tear-jerking). 

The end. 

A little boat in what I'm sure is often a body of water, just not at this point. 

I think my hypo-manic condition that comes from being a little bi-polar comes in handy when I reflect on the way ideas come to me all at once and so quickly. All solutions, all the detail was at the forefront of my mind. Figuring out how to write it down, communicate it and practise it were the next steps. 

When we got into the studio we started by mapping out the stage - we knew the beginning, we were really happy with it, so the beginning actually defined how the stage and indeed the whole physical and movement narrative would be set. I then explained there were 4 parts to the work, and presented a summary of the script / choreography to everyone. They loved it, and we started going through the moves, writing down solutions to problems as we went. 

By the end of the 2 hours we'd basically resolved that I'd write down all the motifs, but they were happy to improvise the "game" parts of it (i.e the stylistic appropriation game and the flocking/imitation game). They'd need me to properly sore the beginning (which is a very simple slow oscillation of a tone with a crescendo at the end, and maybe a timbral modulation somewhere in there (by that I mean going from normale bowing to sul pont gradually), as well as the recorded bit at the end (the tear jerking music that underpins the spoken text).

And that'd be a wrap.

Sounds good to me.

I went off back to my cottage... and finished and submitted two grant applications before setting in to complete another work that I'd been commissioned (but was overdue on submitting) - "Out of the Deep". the Song Company's commission, which I'm going to talk about the process of in another blog because this one is too big already!

The "Single Man's Cottage" at Bundanon

Pink Floyd's Brain Damage

It has been quite an interesting residency here at Bundanon. 

Today I started making work on the quartet… after 2 big sessions on technique earlier in the week (see my two previous blog posts about them!). 

One of the exercises we did earlier in the week was that I asked the performers to bring in text that moved them; that put them into a state. Anna chose the lyrics to Pink Floyd’s “Brain Damage”, and we've decided to use that to inspire the whole work. Tomorrow I’m going to have 1 more session and we’re only going to use it to make work in, basically get a full draft of the score, and then I will write it out in full to distribute and I’ve got 3 x 1.5 hour rehearsals to get the work up, and POW we have it - dress rehearsal and performance.

The Dorothy Porter studio - ugg boots were a good a idea at this time of year.

The session today started late because we had to pull out diaries to discuss rehearsal period. After this, I took them through an improv based on visualisation warm up - didn't quite succeed as much as I though it could, but that's cool, we can work on that in the rehearsals - then Alina and Anna presented the music that gave them emotive responses, I blindfolded Alina first and she danced solo so we could try emulate her after. She chose a pop song, very different to everyone else's choices, and really let go in her movement. We were all a bit hung over from the previous night's booze... James and I hosted a dinner party (Pene Bolognese) and we invited the visual artist working in one of the other studios across the quadrangle to join us (Deanna Hitti). Deanna brought a flan and Dan showed us this hilarious clip from Tropfest 2011; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxiSP_ch_oI)! 

But back to the workshop.

After Alina's solo, we tried to emulate her but I daresay the red wine got the better of us and there's only so much Spice Girls one can stand so we moved on to Anna's solo, an excerpt of Prokofiev's Violin Concerto in G minor 2nd movement. Her movements were very lyrical, and expressive - and we followed them but again, hungover brains just couldn't cope with much.

The hangovers were SO worth it. (Alina, Dan, Me, Anna and James) 

No matter - all that free improv and visualisation and body awareness stuff was just warm up and we were ready to get serious.

Concert's on next month, and we've got nothing at this stage.

We pulled out the text Anna gave at a previous session (it's the 4th verse of Pink Floyd's "Brain Damage");

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me

I found the work on youtube so we had a listen; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhYKN21olBw

By this stage I knew everyone's strengths and weaknesses in movement and creation, as well as the roles in performance they're comfortable with when it comes to improv (leading, following, aggression, disruption etc etc). As we listened to the track I could see in my mind's eye the opening of the work and hear (in my mind's ear) the music they'd be playing, so as soon as the youtube clip stopped playing I put the director/composer/maker hat on and got them to position music stands, chairs and music instruments in a certain formation and told them a score they'd have 3 and a half minutes to execute.

And they did it. And loved it. It involved very simple movement and positioning instructions that related to the theme in the lyrics (confusion, imposter, finality of release) and very simple yet specific music instruction. They memorised it as I told them and I only had to give very light instructions during their realisation of the score. BAM we had our opening.

We sat down to discuss staging of the opening, whether or not it should have changes, how the rest of the work would be structured, what sort of performance techniques we'll employ. Unfortunately I'm losing Anna today so she won't be at tomorrow's session, but she understands where the work is starting, where it's going, and how we're getting there. 

Tomorrow we'll block/compose the whole 8 minute work, using textual, aural and physical cues to create form. We've already got 3.5 minutes of it, and what we've got has really set up what's going to happen in the rest. By Wednesday morning I'll have distributed a script/score (similar to what I did for a performance James and I did for Guy James Whitworth's exhibition in Mardi Gras) which we'll use to rehearse with, and hopefully be able to whittle down to an A3 sheet so we can just use that as "parts" for the quartet to reference during performance on the night.

I'm really excited. We're already talking about staging, multimedia elements, they're all comfortable with using their voice, their instruments and movement... 

We went for walkies to the Ampitheater. 

After this morning session I got to speak to Alina about her very inspiring solo work she based on a text about eternal multi dimensional love. I proposed we make that into a short solo she could perform either at this event or a future one - she agreed. I can't tell you how incredible her solo was when she did that in our improv session a couple of days ago... because it was authentic, both movement and expression of the text. It's a text very close to her heart as it relates to multiple facets of her life. 

Not bad - 2 works for the price of 1 short residency... and a number of hangovers...

-

RIGHT - Gotta Go, always love catching up dear, but I have music to write!

More at Bundanon

I had my second session with the quartet today. I didn't have a lot of time allocated (2 hours were scheduled for me!) and I ended up going over time.

We went from easy and free to EXTREMELY CHALLENGING today. We started with breathing and bending in rhythm to a soundtrack of Wax Tailor "Que Sera"... easy enough. I then introduced the idea of call and response in a movement context (we have that sort of device in music as well so it wasn't to hard to understand), and I took the call and response idea into our next segment of free-range stretching movements to a soundtrack of The Avalanches "Because I'm Me". The warmup ended with contact-help stretching, this time with arms and hands allowed to be used to help one another, but eyes closed, and no set helping pairs to a soundtrack of "Inutile et indispensable" by Little People. That was a little challenging and we had a few giggles because you don't know where you're putting your hands necessarily, but it was effective stretching and a good way to continue contact developments.

The next bit was our first group-devised improv. I gave us the task of having 5 minutes to plan a 5 min improv that incorporates vocalisations and movement, that uses a number of the techniques we'd been discussing, and has a beginning, middle and end. They took to task very quickly. I was surprised how long they spent discussing the vocal components when the movement components were going to be far more complicated... but all ground was discussed and covered that needed to be.

Part of the group improv; suddenly Alina became the focus of attention. This improv game was an absolute hoot, everyone had a lot of fun. For me, it was interesting to observe the psychological differences the ensemble had between their approaches to sound, vocalised music and then music and sound played on their instruments later.

In the course of the next 5 minutes the quartet presented a very tight-knit, well thought out and simple game of vocal and movement tag - like they were tossing a ball between them, and each played with the solo material as they had their turn. They ended up in a flocking modality for the middle bit - loving it - but the difficulty of getting out of the flock was hilarious to watch - they didn't know when or how to break off... so instead of a sudden change, they simply started delaying their imitation of the leader, so suddenly a movement cannon took place - incredibly beautiful to watch. They had no idea this effect was taking place (it was only happening because of their uncertainty!).

Finally Anna and James seemed to make the bold moves to stop the group from continuing their flocking, and they ended up on the floor, quiet and still... until Alina vocalised, causing the others to respond - almost having the same effect as a perfect cadence. 

We reviewed the work on video and they were surprised at how good it looked. The uncertainty of the task made them feel they were performing poorly when in fact from the audience perspective it was raw yet (to me) an exquisite starting point.

Then we put James in a blindfold and got him to dance solo. The day before I'd asked the quartet to bring in music that inspired them to feel something - and James brought in a Philip Glass work from the film soundtrack of The Hours. He was very nervous about moving to it but when he started it was obvious to me that this would be a special part of our residency. The 3 minute work ended with poignant introspective gestures, and the four others in the room (myself included) gave him our interpretation of his movements. Dan's selection was an excerpt of Barber's violin concerto, and his movements to it were remarkable to me in that it was like the music was his voice and his was gesturing his body like he was having a conversation with us, telling us, in sound, the secrets of his soul. It was very hard to emulate.

Anna and Alina will give their solos tomorrow. We were running out of time and I had two more tasks to do.

Alina's text was a poem about multidimensional eternal love. Her movement and musical interpretation of this embodied her instrument as the object of that love - such a touching overlay of text, movement and sound.

At the end of the previous session I'd asked them all to bring in a text that moves them or incites a 'state' - either something small, something long... a sentence, a paragraph... doesn't matter. We went through our texts and we were moved to tears. The task however was a bit more daunting than simply reading expressive text. I gave them 6 mins to prepare a miniature work (30 seconds to 2 mins) that presented their text with their instrument and movement.... so instruments came out and they each performed their compositions. It was such a great task, and so many wonderful surprises came from it, and I learnt a great deal about the possibilities of music/movement theatre with this group. It was the first time I'd asked them to incorporate their instrument in a performance exercise, which was a huge leap. But this was all preparation for the final big task which I knew would be beyond anyone's comfort zones.

The beginning of our final scored improv - high quiet tremolo and trills whilst turning on the spot and rising up and down and slowly swaying was the first part of the score.

I had prepared 4 cards on which I wrote musical intervals up to a perfect 4th. They each had to take one of these cards and re-tune their instruments down by the interval on the card. The idea was they'd not know who was retuning to what degree, however practicalities meant the intervals were all revealed. We then spent 10 minutes planning a scored improvisation; blocking, transitions, movement language, sound language, sound and movement textures, a form... so much. It was a lot to take in, and it was throwing them in the deep end to say the least. We ended up in hysterics as I was trying to get the ensemble to travel by sliding on their backs with gyrating legs whilst playing arpeggios but with the score that the further away from the centre of the room they got the deeper in pitch the arpeggio got (or if they were approaching the centre, they had to heighten the pitch), and the faster the movement they had the louder the sound needed to be (though the sound needn't be fast!). We paused, breathed, got through it, somehow re-centred and got back to our flocking techniques we feel most comfortable with. 

At this point we were a bit of a laughing mess... but a beautiful and very interestingly positioned one.

In 2 sessions we've looked at movement 'modes', contact, composition devises of movement and sound, sound vs music, roles of the quartet emulated in movement, OH&S, instrument safety, scordatura, letting go of inhibitions, relationships between movement and sounds.... we were just scratching the surface with so much of this given the amount of time we had in these sessions, but we'll have to wait until we get a proper grant before we can do some heavy exploration and training. Tomorrow, I have to start making work on them.

But they get it. They understand the approach, they've had practice in their own solos and in group improvs, they see audience and performer perspectives are very different, they see what text can do, what movement can do with meaning, and how all the elements they can bring to a performance enhance the meaning and experience of it. It's rough and raw but tomorrow we'll have a look at Alina and Anna's solos to the works they've chosen to dance to, then we'll sit down and sort out the content we intend to base the composition "30/31" on.

"30/31" is part of a series of works I've been writing for string quartet, and it's all been self referential work. I think for this one, though, I'm actually going to facilitate self-referential work made by/with the quartet... so each of them have a part of themselves in the work. In many ways, it still adheres to the premise of the series (reflecting on that year/those years of my life), in that what has happened to me over those two years has been a period where my experience-making has extended to include far more than the sonic experience, and my vision in life has continued to broaden to be more inclusive than it ever was before. 

My view from my studio. I'm sharing a two bedroom two studio cottage with James, and the little house you can see across the field is the 'musician's cottage' where Alina, Dan and Anna are staying. 

Bundanon's a stunning residency. I went for a long run around to the river yesterday and came across about 20 wombat holes, 2 live wombats, some wild mint (which I added to the Gin and Tonic I served at the dinner party I hosted with James at our cottage last night... roasted chicken and veges with an entree of pumpkin soup!) and ran through herds of kangaroos. Being here has been very productive for my music writing and creative process development... and I've still been able to do work on Limelight and juggle my other responsibilities easily enough!

Well that escalated quickly...

You wouldn't believe what the Australian Art Quartet did today. It is amazing working with really accomplished musicians and relating their music techniques to movement techniques, their understanding of music composition to movement composition... I'm making an integrated sound/movement work... we don't know what about yet, but we've got an 8 day residency at Bundanon to figure it out!

The drive down with Alina and Anna was a breeze - though the drive took most of the day. Alina is the violist with the AAQ, she performed in their interpretation of my work "27" during their "Butt Naked Salon" concert last year (in which I also happened to appear as a nude model for Wendy Sharpe to create a mural from). Anna is new to the quartet and is the 2nd violin. 

When we finally got to Bundanon we caught James (cello) going for a run and he instructed us to our cottages where we'd be staying - I'm bunking up with James and Alina and Anna are bunking up with Dan (1st violin).

It is picturesque here... there are kangaroos hopping about the property, we came across a beautiful snake with speckled scales slithering across the road, there are trees everywhere. It is refreshing to get out of the urban landscape of Sydney to create work in.

I'm here to finish off the work I'm making for the Song Company (Out of the deep) and create a score for the AAQ. The AAQ will perform it next month, and TSC will perform their work in June....

After a quick lunch we went straight into a movement and sound workshop.

This is the first time I've lead anything of this length and nature before - a 3 hour workshop towards the creation of a new devised work. I took to it like a duck to water though...

Alina helping James stretch - the task was that she wasn't allowed to use her hands. Using her foot on James' shoulder and sitting on his leg deepened the stretch - and was a good way of introducing contact into our movement improv to come later.

I first got the quartet walking around the room, and encouraged them to take in the details of it - how many lights were there, were there windows, where were the windows, how many paces could they make from one side to the other - and importantly (for musicians) what sounds does the room make as they walk around in it? can we possibly incorporate those sounds into composition later?

After becoming aware of the space I started adding instructions to augment the score we were enacting in real time... play with direction (walk backwards, sideways, etc), play with speed, turn, slowly arc, quickly arc... then adding other elements like feeling free to descend to the ground and rise again, and other bits and pieces - the exercise ended up getting everyone into a giggly mess as we couldn't remember everything we were meant to be including! 

Dan helping Anna stretch without using his hands. His solution of using legs as contact points was effective in this stretch.

But the mess soon dissipated as I got them to do some specific exercises playing with level (height that is), speed and direction together. 

We then did some stretching, and I sneaked some contact in there (1 stretcher, 1 helper). Adding that the helper can't use their hands.... then adding they can't use their arms (but they must help, and no copying of solutions!) created the opportunity for them to problem solve and explore proximity and comfort... handy as we then looked at 3 core concepts which would really define our improv work.

Exploring the idea of flocking - here James is leading just after Alina was leading the ensemble. The movement language improvised was purposefully very different with each new leader. 

Proximity - Flocking - Imitation

Defining proximity physically as well as conceptually lead us to begin to think about things from the audience's readings perspectives. We did an experiment on perception of proximity where I stood about 3m away from Alina and got her and I to face one another looking directly at each other, and asked the others to compare the impression of proximity that gave in comparrison to when we were purposefully turned away from one another and looking away... although we were in the same physical position, it was felt by the others we were further away from one another when we were facing and looking away from each other. (a tad obvious, but actually doing that exercise opens the idea of the gradations between those extremes). 

Also looking at imitation vs mirroring - so imitating "impressionistically" (that is, similar aesthetic, but different movements and pace potentially) vs imitating exactly (i.e mirroring), and the gradations in between there.

A whole bunch of concepts were thrown at them today... with theory and practical exercises, culminating in a 7 min improv score (which required at least 1 group flocking, 3 stillness, using of all the techniques we covered today and starting on the floor in as close proximity as possible). Completing this improv created such a moment between the five of us - it's like we broke a barrier and started on a tremendous exhilarating journey together.

But what really interested me was the ensuing conversation talking about a few techniques I'd been exposed to before (the use of "state" to inspire movement/performance, use of text in creation of work, tapping into formulaeic approaches to composition, ways of creating physical narratives through space, etc). We then extended the conversation into the technique os relating sound and movement... when I did my thesis on this subject for my undergrad honours I found nothing in the literature covering this topic, so it felt like we were really covering some interesting ground that was yet to be examined in an academic context (though I bet it has, I just wasn't able to find it back then!). We came up with a few experimental relationships we'll try in our next session. The quartet came up with suggestions that even surprised me!

I've just come back to my cabin from dinner chez Alina, Anna and Dan. The quartet are still all back there, looking at specific string quartet things like intonation and rhythm through playing through some Handel. I was delighted that the quartet found today's workshop very beneficial to their playing together as an ensemble despite not involving their instruments. I do think this is the start of something quite extraordinary. 

Whilst I'm here, I want to also tell you that I'm continuing my ongoing collaboration with Guy James Whitworth. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I performed at his Mardi Gras exhibition in February. This week, I posed for him wearing the pig-mask costume that I'd created for that performance... he did a few sketches of me in it, which I think are just wonderful. Certainly not the sort of costuming I'd be working with the AAQ or TSC with, but it is good to have an outlet expressing my sexuality and explorations of kink. I daresay he'll be entering an oil-on-canvas of this into something major... we'll see where it goes! I do think he's made me a tad more muscular than I actually am in the one above, and perhaps a tad leaner than I am in the one below, but others tell me that they're quite accurate - perhaps I underestimate the effects of those ballet and  stretch classes and gym sessions with Dean!

Development and plans...

I’m down at Sydney Dance company… I was here at 8:30 because Dean teaches the pre-professional year kids, although I’m not in a class with him until 10, I get to hang around the cafe, bump into old friends (who are working with Gondwana choirs, I saw their GM Bernie here the other day and conductor Amandine today!), and get some work done.

It’s been nearly 2 months since my last update, and a lot has gone on. I’ve had 3 performances, two in January and one early March… “Exile Nothing” with Dean, and “Vignettes of Identity” a solo show I got together very quickly for Guy James Whitworth’s exhibition for Mardi Gras.

Vignettes of Identity - I invited some of the audience to dance with me whilst I was nude and they were clothed, imitating a slow ascending and descending modality that Dean taught me. Photo by Sarah Malone

Both experiences were exhilarating, and the reason I’m here at SDC - I love incorporating movement into my work and so I’m doing stretch and ballet classes, and training with Dean during the week, to become a better mover.

Exile Nothing is the first part of a triptych. It is just Dean and I, a lot of costuming, music I’ve written and music we’ve selected… we presented two versions, one for the Sydney Festival for Really Good Sex, and another in a showing for our supporters. 

We arrived at the content through Dean’s creative process… although I’d have liked to have had more input into the approach to creating this work than I did, for the sake of time and expedience (and curiosity) I let Dean take the lead. 

We started off with a long discussion (about 2 hours) about why we were doing the work. I took that text and we distilled it (as quickly as we could) into themes and our reasons/passions for the project. We used that distillation to create movement as metaphor, state as premise for movement, and plotted a modular chronology of events that made sense. Although we didn’t have the time to really tie everything in together and make something that transcended itself, we came up with a string of scenes that made sense, and were very impactful.

Exile Nothing - Really Good Sex Festival performance. Photo by Sarah Malone

The movement came from Dean’s creative/choreographic methods. There were a few things I put in there (which weren’t exactly new to the world of dance, but stuff I could actually do), but most of it stemmed from improvisation exercises that Dean lead in the studio. I love this sort of approach to creating, and I’m adopting it for two works I’m writing at the moment - “Out of the deep” for The Song Company (which will be premiered in June) and 30/31 for Australian Art Quartet (to be premiered in May). I’ll have the quartet hands-on during a residency in Bundanon next month, and the Song Company I simply have to come up with the notes and send them through.

I’m thinking for the Song Company work that I’ll leave some creative licence or creative exercise for the singers… I need it to sound soulful and fresh - every performance, and to do that there needs to be a slight chance of failure.

I’ll figure it out.

Ballet class was extraordinary to me last week… it all looks so easy, when a professional dancer does it but when I get in there I feel all these muscles that I haven’t worked before, and forms I don’t understand, language that is new to me... it is a wonderful experience. I hope I’ll be able to take these lessons into my workshops with Maxine Doyle, Sarah Dowling and Andrew Morrish later this year, and my play with Dapheny Chen, and my further developments with Dean… and of course my development with the AAQ.

There’s a number of projects that have gone on the back burner for me, and I need to figure out, somehow, how I can manage them… I have people willing to help, but I guess I’m getting things lined up in my own company herein Sydney… Limelight is going well. I’m about to hire an administration assistant. I put the ad up yesterday arvo at 3pm, and it’s only 9am today and yet we’ve had 50 responses already. 

Limelight’s making enough surplus now for me to not be worried about the future… and although certain things are taking longer than I thought they would, we’re going to be fine… though I really need that new website to be up before the next financial year. It’s coming along well, but progress is slow and careful (and every step gets it right), rather than fast and haphazard. If things stay as they are, by about December the company will have some surplus income… which, at this stage, I’m not sure what I’d do with… honestly, I’m really tired, and may just take a few months off, or get another staff member (a senior) part time to take care of the management that I do so I can concentrate on the next major business development project; Vordenker and Recommend Live.

On a more personal note, things with Dean are amazing. We got away for about 5 days (though I had to do a bit of work each day nevertheless) camping with our new dog, Liam, who’s a greyhound rescue, 2.5 years old. He’s getting on really well with Harvey now, and loves to curl up in bed with us, which is gorgeous, considering how timid and snarley he was at first. He has his ways of asking for things, and he’s cheeky in the kitchen (I’d bake a whole new loaf of bread, and he steals it off the counter when I’m not looking and eat half of it!). I really want to help Dean by building a company structure to help him realise his dreams… we will plan it this year, and execute it the next.

I'm running with Harvey and Liam at a beach near Huskisson, where Dean and I were camping for 5 days. Liam needs to wear a muzzle and be on a lead at all times as he is a rescue greyhound.

I think we could use Chronology Arts company structure, and that will create a new revenue stream for it, and reason for better funding, so we can make a full time producer / GM / agent position. Shaping into an interesting company - an artist collective, artists represented and projects created… and we create opportunities for those artists to make work… I could get Dean in the company then, maybe even talk to Daph about it too… and open a Singapore branch to agent our works from there as well as have a base in Singapore for the software developments.

Anyway, dreams… all this is too next year.

Developments, love and support

It has been a very packed period of time over the Christmas, Near Year and first couple of weeks of Jan. It's been quite a tough little time; I found myself surviving off very little money over Christmas/New Year until Arts Illuminated had its first trickle of income this calendar year... a lot of pressure whilst juggling the new work development. I fortunately have many hands to carry me though those times - la vie d'artiste! - particularly whilst moving house etc.

I'm in a cafe in Pyrmont, Sydney. It's overcast but at least the heat isn't as oppressing as it was yesterday. Dean and I are about to head into the studio to continue working on our "Exile Nothing" piece... which is part of a larger project "The Gaze". 

We've already done a lot of work on the background of this piece. Dean and I have both been through different forms (and different levels) of childhood trauma, and we've been talking, working through the layers and what it means, and how that could inform a performative experience.
 

coming home from the Hawksbury

Dean and I went out to the Hawksbury River, with a couple of hammocks and our laptops. It is a place he likes to go to work when isolation would help in the task. There was reception out there, so I was able to prepare for an important meeting with Grant Thornton the following day (I'm looking for potential investors in Arts Illuminated)... the isolation for me proved timely, as I was able to really get my thoughts and information in order. Whilst we were out there we discussed the past in depth... the context of the trauma that Dean has survived. 

After visiting the oracle, Marie 

Dean has a friend, Marie, who has had a lifetime experience helping others through a variety of problems. Her own history is full of interesting times, harrowing times, and joyful times - like all our lives. She had particular insight into Dean, as they'd lived together for a long time. She also has a deep understanding of survival and perseverence... after meeting with her my senses were heightened and my mind re-invigorated - and I became facinated by even very common scenes/images like that above... and what the history of this place could reveal if it could speak to me. 

Artwork at Holdsworth House

My celebrations over the New Year lead me to get a little under the weather - nothing like a bit of Chlamydia to make things interesting... it's an easy fix though.
Whilst at the doctor's surgery, I noticed this artwork, using lighting and mirrors to create an effect of a doorway to another dimension. This is a technique I used in December during the Strut / Sarah Dowling workshop... and one that I'm interested in using for my performance during Guy Whitworth's exhibition during Mardi Gras.

Gallery for Guy's exhibition

I went to view the gallery space and to test out some sound tech (it vibrates the surface it is sitting on). Really great little space and lots of potential for performance. In a development meeting with Guy we looked at key themes of Identity (Who Am I), "Street Angel" and Youth In Trouble. 
Street Angel refers to an experience I had in Perth helping an aboriginal man who'd passed out on the street in his own vomit. It was an impactful experience for me and I'll be sharing it in a performative way. The Identity theme will be explored with performance with self / mirror and -other. "Youth in Trouble" just looks at a few things that happen in our early 20s... new gays on the block, as it were. Last year, the two men I knew to get positive diagnosis for HIV were both under 25. 

Connect / Disconnect development

One of my FAVOURITE conclusions I came to recently was in workshop with a friend; Lou, in Perth. We are working on Connect/Disconnect together (he's a smart guy, an engineer, with lots of diverse experience), and we discovered the three parts (Self - Other - Spirit) were best expressed with this;

The way I am
I am next to you
Who am I
I am breathing

and I think this is going to be the basis of that whole body of work. 

It's always fun to use whiteboards and sticky notes! Next step in that project is a grant application. 

Exile Nothing image

The next major cab off the rank in my creative life for me at the moment is a Backer's Audition for Exile Nothing we're holding at Critical Path on the 30th.... We've sent out the invites, we know what we're saying... but gosh it's time to start developing some physical material for it!

Ok time to get in the studio!!! 

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A key element in ANY tech development

A couple of mates really wanted to just subscribe to my RSS feeds like an enewsletter, rather than check my website or wait for me to tell them on Facebook if I'm going to send something or not.

It's a little bit too easy... so I think I've done something wrong, hence I'm testing it out with this test post!

Magical. 

From one phase to the next

About 10 days ago I didn't know where I was going to live. I got a call from Anthea from Nedlands Library who told me to give the mayor of Nedlands, Max, a call, as he'd an idea regarding where I could live. A few people had listened to the very candid interview I gave Julia from the Nedlands library (as part of an oral history project they have)... and I think word got round that I was at a bit of a loose end.

Max recommended I get in touch with the Fellowship of Australian Writers WA, and see if they'd space at the Mattie Furphie house. They did...

However there wasn't much I could do at the time because my flight to Sydney was boarding and the line was just about trailing to its finish. It was Saturday, the day just after I'd finished up with the workshop at Strut with Sarah Dowling.

Our feet on the Friday after we'd finished our last improv... we were getting drunk at a beer garden, doing our fabulous moves we'd learnt during the workshop in front of the non-dancers of the crowd. Love an audience. 

Daph and I spent a good deal of Saturday morning together... it was great to get to know her better and take some goofy photos of us and talk about the way our minds work and how we can mesh that together in collaboration. 

Daph, laughing at something stupid I said probably. 

But I was flying off to Sydney to do a workshop with Dean Walsh and Guy Whitworth. 

The flight to Sydney was uneventful, but when I got to Sydney terminal, I scabbed a ciggie off another passenger... she gave me a vogue - something long, thin and without much nicotine. Just as well.... I'd started smoking a bit during the dance workshop, and it is a hard habit to re:kick once re:taken up. When Dean came along to pick me up I felt guilty about my odour that had surely adopted a smokey overtone to it, but he'd seemed not to care.

The following few days were something extra-ordinary. 

Dean was working on a grant application for ArtsNSW - a fellowship for artists with disabilities (Dean has aspergers), and I had the pleasure of helping him out with some sections, and working quietly alongside him. It was lovely to be able to work on my own stuff whilst he worked on his. I'd hoped we'd spent that Sunday doing other things, but in the end, we did precisely the sort of thing I enjoy doing - solving problems, discussing the arts, and being generous and supportive.

The next day we were in the studio with Guy Whitworth for our project The Gaze.

I'm on the floor "moving authentically" after doing some deep listening of aquatic sounds, which helped me reconnect with my body in a different way than I'd experienced before. This was part of Dean's Prime Orderly methodology.

It was a workshop that extended my approach to movement, particularly after just having done Strut with Sarah - my body was really primed to get into more new movements (although, as you can see from my bandage, I was not fully healed from the previous couple of weeks). 

Dean and I experience a wonderful synergy, which allows us to work deeply with each other. Good thing we can, as the work we're developing explores our respective childhood traumas, which have similarities but vast differences as well, and how those traumas relate to who/how we are today. Working in that territory is going to be easy with him... and it's already got its first public outlet in January during the 2017 Sydney Festival for Really Good Sex.

A couple of days later I got back to Perth and fixed a move-in date for my next residence - Mattie Furphy House.

Mattie Furphy House - the writer's residency I've moved into

I was really nervous meeting Peter Bibby to confirm move in arrangements. I don't identify as a "writer", although I do publish a hell of a lot of writing through Limelight and I often write my own lyrics, and text based composition.... but I don't feel like a "writey writer" (as much as I don't feel like a "dancey dancer").

Talking to Peter, though, helped calm my imposter's syndrome a bit... he's written for heaps of different contexts and in different ways... it doesn't make him less of a writer. I'd intended on writing text based scores in 2017 anyway, as well as physical theatre involving text, music, movement... and potentially a chamber opera... all these seemed to add up to me feeling more legit within a writer's residency. 

So we agreed I'd move in.

This was a huge weight off my shoulders, as you can imagine... but there was one more thing I needed to do before leaving Gallop house - and that was a photoshoot with Dan, who'd been really keen for a while to shoot me whilst living there.

Alas, the others are full nude - so I'll post them elsewhere.

It was great, we got into some interesting territory with some of the techniques I'd learnt in the previous dance workshops - and just feeling totally free and creative was great. 

It was a nice way to leave.... that is, after the MASSIVE cleanup.

The house is now empty, it looks ready to receive its next guest - Mace Francis!

It was quite an experience leaving yet another residence... that's 12 times in 10 years I've moved house... I don't think it'll slow down.

So I'm now on the bed at Mattie Furphy House... listening to some Bjork, writing to you about this transition of physical space, but also of my artistic output. I've been writing music for over a decade now, yet the past few weeks I've been a dancer and model mostly, and written some music for sure, but within the context of multi-artform performance. I'm working so hard on so many things at once, and it's all beginning to come together.

Next year Dean and I will perform in this Sydney Festival for Really Good Sex in January... then I'll be performing in Guy Whitworth's Mardi Gras exhibition on March 2. In May I'll have a performance with the Australian Art Quartet, and in June with The Song Company. All the while, I'll be developing The Gaze with Dean, Key Moments with Wendy Sharpe and Ben Opie, Connect/Disconnect with a number of artists in Perth, and some awesome ideas with Dapheny Chen in Singapore.... whilst navigating new exciting waters with Limelight magazine.

Lots of strings to this bow. Lots of feathers to that cap... or are there? For me it all boils down to the same thing - having vision, being able to assess and change it for viability, communicating it, and managing it. 

That's it from me for 2016 - next time I write, we'll be well into this writer's residency. I'm going to start mixing things up and start publishing a few more creative works on here, rather than simply letting you know what I'm up to and planning!

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Strut / Maxine Doyle with Sarah Dowling 3

The last two weeks have been a peak experience for me.

I’ve made new friends, new collaborators, and I’ve really extended my technique as an artist.

I was so sad to leave the group… on Friday, we had a de-brief after the showing we performed on Thursday. We consolidated audience feedback and gave feedback to each other. We had a really touching “final improv” together at the end of the day… during which we physically went over things that we’d learnt and covered, or actually repeated some core experiences we had during the workshop.

It was particularly touching to take a “real life” experience and reenact and abstractify it. One night in the second week a group of us had gone out for dinner in Northbridge and walking back to get ice cream we passed a homeless aboriginal man who seemed to be passed out, shirtless, shoeless, in a pool of his own vomit. There were wounds on his back “his wings had been cut off”, Kynan said… we were forlorn about it, because he looked like he needed help… so I went to him and asked him if he was alright… when he came to, he told me he thought he was going to die, he was in so much pain, he’d been stabbed. I called an ambulance, and held him until they came. He told me he thought he was dreaming and that I was an angel.

Sarah began that movement with me and I got back to that very real experience again, but this time in a dance improv setting. The emotions came back, and the movements became an exploration, a deepening, of dreamlike transcendence from the horror of pain, vomit and destitution. Recalling it now I can’t remember if Sarah was being the angel or the destitute, at that point the group felt so connected that recalling experiences from a particular perspective is hard, it was such a deep shared experience.

One of my favourite lines from that final day, though, came from Dom, who’d said “I’ve been in this studio so much over so many years and I’d never ever seen that back door opened” (referring to the fire exit door, which was used very successfully by Carly, Dom and Amber during the showing). That was almost a metaphor for the whole 2 weeks.

By the end of Friday night, we discovered that only the single people were left in the group (Dom, Kynan, Dapheny and myself), and Sarah. Things were getting pretty surreal, as we kept dancing throughout drinks, then dinner, and dessert… repetition, games, movement games performed in the carpark, attracting attention, shying away from it.

I had brekky with Dapheny on Saturday, some further scheming for the future. Who knows where it'll end up. When we are together we just laugh and laugh and go deep into absurd abstractification whilst teetering on the edges of pedestrianist reality (or something to that effect).

...

So I'm now in Sydney, sitting with another choreographer, Dean, giving feedback on a few sections of his Arts NSW fellowship application (the deadline's tomorrow). Tomorrow he and I will join Guy in a studio in Sydney as we embark on the creation of a new work - exploring some very dark issues together. I'll be taking a few leafs out of Sarah's book in these next few days, take the red pill and just see how far the rabbit hole can really go... 

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Strut / Maxine Doyle with Sarah Dowling 2

Everyone in this workshop is getting something unique out of it for themselves.

Some of us are challenged psychologically… Sarah’s methods of physical theatre definitely extend a dancer’s arsenal of technique, however with any extension of skills, a learning process has to come - and with learning comes challenge, and often perceived failure… as well as the epiphanies.

Quick update on my own injuries, I’m told that YES they are quite bad (when I was changing in front of the others the other day someone said “oh my god Andrew!!” at my bruises). Those bruises were got by physicalising the psychosis of MacBeth - which was a lot of fun. Meh, what’s a few bruises when I had the opportunity to be really expressive (as, at the end of the day, MacBeth’s psychosis is probably quite similar to my own).

We started making work in small groups. I got to flex my composition brain a bit and instead of coming up with an approach to putting choreo together overnight, I came up with sound in which our group’s choreographic material we’d discovered together could exist. I did a multi-layered Frozen; “Let it go” against Shostakovich 8th string quartet movement 2 and Max Richter’s “On the Nature of Daylight” underpinned with aspects of my own “Bodies in Motion”, and (having flexibility and willingness) cut/shifted sounds and parts to suit the choreo we put together in the final stages of the exercise.

It was quite a dark piece we did - entrapment and getting out of it; with overtones of formulaic existence, control and submission. Towards the end of the piece (when “Let it go” starts playing loudly in cannon) I had the instinct to laugh maniacally… (I mean, I often do anyway, but there seemed to be good impetus in this context). Dapheny, who was also in our group felt it was natural, Dominic wasn’t sure why it was relevant to the piece…. But I figured ouk its relevance later --- Laughter is the Ultimate release from internal entrapment. I just remembered seeing it in Decadance a few weeks before and thought YES! Appropriate!

Working with Dapheny and Dominik on a small work together (6’30) over a period of mere hours was exhilarating. We had our own personal approaches to creating work and I felt they slid into each other seamlessly. Daph’s had a decade long career (plus) in dance (we’re the same age, and I’d say of similar gravity of experience, albeit in different fields), whereas Dominik is 1 year out of WAAPA (dance major). I was a bit intimidated by proposing ideas at first, but both Dom and Daph have a bit of different types of crazy / risk-taking in them too, so I felt at home.

Overall, though, I am struggling with a few aspects of this workshop. Every morning we have an open class until 11 and as a part of that there is some fixed choreography we’ve been asked to unison before going into an improv. All the dancy-dancers can really do it so amazingly, and consistently, every time… I sort of feel like I’m floundering and look a bit uncoordinated (though the others tell me “You’re doing so well!”). I’m not struggling with the improv parts, nor the special Punchdrunk technique parts. I’ve discovered I’m most comfortable semi-scored improv, and I think my best work comes out in mixed improv/scored choreography with some fixed elements. I’d never had known this without having gone to this workshop. I can’t wait to find out the discoveries I’ll have leading up to this Thursday’s showing. I’m already pondering what to wear…. (or how little to wear).... ((or if I should wear anything at all?))...

ANYWAY. Today’s a beach day. I’ve invited some of the participants over to my place (Gallop House, it’s a sweet spot in the “Golden Triangle” of Perth) for a cuppa before I drive us to the beach to just relax!

Strut / Maxine Doyle with Sarah Dowling Workshop

I’m Andrew, a participant in the Strut Dance / Maxine Doyle workshop running for two weeks right now. We’ve finished up on day 3, and I’m in a hot magnesium salt bath nursing my various bruises, grazes, and what feels like a pulled left rhomboid …

There’s 13 of us in the group. We start class at 9:30 which goes until 11, then we have a short break before launching into an exploration of various creative processes for physical theatre.

I’ve got a “go hard or go home” attitude, so it is little wonder why I’m so beaten up. It’s also the first time I’ve ever done any professional development workshop for physical theatre or dance… and IT IS BRILLIANT!!!

My background is as a composer, and I’m here in Perth on quite a prestigious residency for composers, but whilst I’ve been here I’ve been exploring and extending my art… a bit of life modelling, a bit of vocal training, a bit dance training…

When Strut advertised this workshop, I immediately wanted to participate. I’d heard of Punchdrunk (of course) and was gravitated to the idea of developing my writing skills for physical theatre and dance by participating, as well as developing performance skills for when I hit the stage.

I have never in my life felt so liberated. This workshop isn’t just extending my practise; it is propelling my transformation along a line I’ve been exploring this year - that of coming from a premise of expression, rather than technique.

I’ve got that idea down pat when it comes to music - I mean, I’d studied at the Sydney Con, and used those compositional techniques for years with my ensemble Chronology Arts as well as for various commissions - technique was just fine, but I wanted to connect more with my music so started removing the thought of emphasis on technique, started exploring performance, and used those ideas as vehicles of transformation of my music.

I don’t have a dance background… sure I’ve composed for dance and produced and co-produced some in the past, but never trained a plié in my life - I don’t know my Fondou sets from my Tondou sets at all.

But all that doesn’t matter in this workshop.

For the past 3 days, Sarah Dowling has been exposing us to some of the incredible techniques she has used in her career, which has extensively been at Punchdrunk. Although I had an inkling of the meaning of immersive theatre from an audience perspective, I’d no idea of the artistry and development behind it.

I mentioned the bruises and grazes because, well, this isn’t necessarily about pretty dance (thank god - see my earlier plié comment). It is more about the expression, theatricality of it. The techniques are secret, and damn right so they should be, they’re phenomenal and we’ve only got enough time to dip our toes into them.

Expression is not always beauty. Sometimes it is ferocious. Sometimes it is a volcano of anger. Sometimes it is love turned to obsession. Sometimes it is the depths of depression, the addiction to blasting (injecting crystal meth), the love for an abusive “partner”, the despair of winning at a cost, the depths of wanting to die. On the other hand it can be rejuvination, reincarnation, vigor, innocence, sensualities, security of kindness and love.

I’ve been exploring the darker sides and retouching on those aspects has caused a variety of colourful bruises on my skin. In pole dancing we call them “pole kisses” (the bruises between the thighs from sitting on the pole, for example), but here I see each of these marks as a lesson in both movement and the theatre of it. Going “all the way” has a toll on the body (particularly on mine, as I’m just in the rudiments of my physical training and am only beginning to learn how to fall without hurting myself!).

I can’t wait to apply some of these lessons to my own projects - some of which incorporate movement, visual art, music, text, interactive media…

My whole view-point on what’s possible in expression is changing… after only three days. There’s another 7. I can’t wait to tell you of what happens next!

Strut + Maxine Doyle Workshop + Ocker translation of a Lutheran text

I'm super excited that from next Monday I'll be in a workshop with Maxine Doyle from Punchdrunk UK. I'm not exactly sure what the workshop will be, what outcomes we'll have, but I know that I'll be in my element; creating and extending abilities with a bunch of Perthian artists lead by a phenomenal director / choreographer. We've got a showing on the 15th of December; http://www.strutdance.org.au/opportunities/performances/maxine-doyle--showingsharing

Aerial shot of a William Forsythe work One Flat Thing Reproduced that Strut will be presenting in future. 

I first knew of Punchdrunk years ago... I'm not sure how they came across my radar; perhaps whilst looking for other companies to be inspired by whilst I established Chronology Arts... but I remember being struck at just how awesome their art was.

Let me unpack that a bit; "awesome" is so ambiguous.

Punchdrunk have a reputation for innovative and highly impactful immersive experiences... they have approached performance in unique ways which extend the historic norms of the distance between audiences and performance art... not just physically but in a plethora of ways.

Maxine Doyle

In other news, my time at Gallop House is coming to an end pretty soon... about 4 weeks now I'll be outta here. I've really benefitted so much from my stay here, and those benefits will continue right into the future. It has changed the way I approach writing music.

I'm starting on this work for the Song Company now... it's due in March. It's a short work, 4 mins, from a Lutheran work "Out of the Deep I Cry to Thee".

Of the Deep

I'm a spiritual person, and although I don't believe in adhering to anything churchie - I prefer to experience things first hand and form my own beliefs (with some guidance sometimes) - I'm looking forward to setting this text and melody because I love Phrygian mode, I reckon Bach's harmonisation of it could do with some updating, as well as his rhythmic treatment (ooooh I can't wait to get stuck into some Phrygian polyphonic multi-tempi transcendent singing with The Song Company!!!) and start applying a few of the big lessons I've learnt whilst at Gallop to a professional setting.

Out of the deep I cry to thee;
O Lord God,
Hear my crying
Incline thy gracious ear to me
With prayer to thee applying
For if thou fix thy searching eye
On all sin and iniquity
Who, Lord, can stand before thee?

There is a sense to me that the person asking for help blames everyone else for putting them in "the deep". Let me do an Ocker translation with potential subtexts in [].

Out of the deep I cry to thee; - "I'm up to my ears in shit creek, I need some help" [this isn't necessarily on a personal level, but a self-centered reading would make it personal; is this about the the world at large or something I'm dealing with personally?]

O Lord God, - "mate" [who is a really powerful mate, like, the creator of all things]

Hear my crying - "listen to me" [crying can be sobbing or vehement verbalisation]

Incline thy gracious ear to me - "listen to me" [gracious implies big respect, our mate is so awesome that even their "ear" is gracious] 

With prayer to thee applying - "I'm asking you" [I'm not too sure how else to interpret this]

For if thou fix thy searching eye - "If you take a good gander" [IN THE IMMORTAL SOULS!]

On all sin and iniquity - "at all the shitty things people do" [This could be "on all the scumbags of Earth, scumbags surrounding me, or just the naughty internal and external actions (internal action I mean thought, motivation etc, external action I mean things like putting knives in people and stealing goats) of people of earth entirely or of people surrounding me --> I believe it reads "the naughty internal and external actions of the people of earth" i.e wider community context]

Who, Lord, can stand before thee? - "who could even be in the same room as you?" [because you're just so pure and awesome, and I want you to be clear that I am part of your club, but Those Nasty Sinning Arseholes can't even have a cuppa with you because they'd be incapacitated even by your presence!, and I'm sure as soon as you know what jerks they are, you'll ensure they're not part of our club, or at least put them through some training so they do become part of the club!].

So I guess it's like; "mate, help me out, listen to me, if you check out and know about the dodgy things happening, I'm sure you'll do something about it (turf or change them) because those jerks can't stand up to you at all"...  

Yeah - I reckon it's a recruitment/damnation song; which I'm not up for.... but I am up for crying for help from the deep and expressing that, so that's where I'll put my focus in my commission. If you reckon I've got my Ocker translation wrong in this work, I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!

Performance, Life Drawing, Dance and 2017 Song Company

A bit of a mixed entry today!

The Song Company announced their 2017 programme "The Attraction of Opposites" and I'm delighted to be able to announce that I'm working on a piece for them!

"From Bach to Batt-Rawden"

My collaboration with this incredible group started in 2007 when I wrote "Click your Username", a response to using gaydar.com.au (a gay dating website). I've since written a number of works for them, including with the singers as soloists in other projects (Anna Fraser is on my album "Seven Stations"). Last year I acted COO for a while to fill in for a mate, and I was privileged to operate the company through a period of transition, where Roland Peelman stepped down as Artistic Director to pursue his career at Canberra International Music Festival and Anthony Pitts stepped into the role. 

To be part of another Song Company season concert is incredible.

But TODAY, I performed for the first time in front of an audience.

the scores I performed from today. 

I wasn't in my best form. I was tired from a sleepless night, on edge because the audience was the Feilman Foundation board, the piano out of tune, the room cold from a freezing day in Perth.

But I sang my heart out.

And it was wonderful.

I started with "Les Mots" which I wrote for my partner of 9 years ago... it's in french, and I changed the lyrics (my french has improved) for this performance. It has tricky harmonies but I'd been practising so I got my fingers around the chords easy enough. Then proceeded to "Come Home", "Little Games" - about nostalgia and the frustrations of love, and finally "Meth Song" which I re-titled to be "Feel". The latter proved to be a great topic for conversation as the foundation board discussed the drug issue in Perth and the role of the arts in healthy societies.

It was very nerve wracking, but now that I've done it I can know what to expect. What will be important will be to perform at every opportunity I can to build some techniques. The caterer for the lunch didn't feel my singing was very good - she'd be right - I've only had 4 lessons! But by gosh that's good motivation to practice and strengthen the voice!!! 

...

Earlier this week I'd gone to my first dance lesson - and I went to another on Tuesday at Strut. The beginner's class. It was incredible. I wish I took some photos to share with you but alas, my hands were occupied with space and time!

Also had a great life drawing session at the Shenton Park Perth group... 

A blurry photo, sorry, but I loved this particular work from the session!

I've been exploring further the possibility of expression through pose, music, narrative... I had the pleasure of meeting the god-father of the Perth life drawing scene, Peter Efford, who was also the ABC's first graphic designer! We had a long chat (the man is in his 70s, and has so much knowledge to share), and funnily enough he'd been thinking of the exact sort of event I'd been imagining - a construction of narrative imaginatively presented in scenes and expressed with multiple artforms and styles all at once. I have a workshop with him tomorrow morning on this idea, before heading out to see some more dance and getting on a plane to Melbourne on Sunday. 

Movement and Music

I participated in my first dance lesson today - and it was quite an entry into movement. The class was improv, and taught by a Guy Shomroni, a Gaga/people teacher, and produced by Strut Dance.

I'm not a dancer, nor a choreographer - but as I'm looking at performing more I want to understand expression through body better. Yesterday's singing lesson taught me to let go of the notes on the page and sing from a place of emotional connection... as I wrote the songs that was really easy, because the songs are all connected to very powerful emotions. By singing from a space of emotion, a lot of the technique that Sue and I had been working on just came through naturally... performances will become easiser as I continue to practise this.

But the dance class today - we were given specific little challenges, like move as if the room is being filled with water, or tense a fist and keep the rest of the body loose and challenge yourself to maintain that dichotomy throughout the body. The music in the background varied.... but there was always a beat and a differing emotional component to the music.

What I realised during the class is the visceral nature of movement, and (for me) the connection between the conscious mind evoking an emotive or almost intuitive sensativity that expresses itself through the body in a physical interpretation of that space.

When I got home later I ran through a couple of the songs that I'm preparing, and started moving with them... expressing the emotional aspect though words, music and movement at the same time. I wonder where this will lead. I am no choreographer, nor am I a singer - I'm just a composer. But maybe the next stage of my creative career is to let go of the labels and simply express as needed by the intent of the calling.

That's a hard one to unpack - the calling. It's the reason you decide that a certain emotion or incident is important to express - and the expression can take many forms. But the calling, that decision to externalise an internal world - is a seed that must spark A LOT of energy.... The energy to write the work, produce it, perform it, write applications about it, write marketing material about it. That seed has to be personally evocative and powerful enough to inspire me to flow through on all aspects of the work, not just lay some pretty chords down. I guess I've found I'm unable to fully express with music, which is why words, performance and movement are also coming into it.

Spectrum of definition

I had a vocal lesson today with Sue Kingham who teaches contemporary vocals out of her own Sue Kingham Vocal Studio in Perth. As I'm going to start performing (as of, well, tomorrow night actually), I figured I better get my shit together and get some lessons from a pro.

A couple of interesting observations occured to me during the lesson. One was that, as a composer, I can write whatever I like that actually suits me... I didn't really understand the power of that, but a good example is that I had written a transposition of "Little Games" up a fifth, so it suited my vocal range better - I'm a tenor - and it really sounds good between D and Ab, rather than G and Db. This sounds pretty simple, but whilst I was at it I also completely changed the rhythmic approach (compound, not simple), and even then, the rhythm is still pretty fluid when it actually comes to performance.

Today we started doing octave exercises, to skip over passagio (the break between chest and head or falsetto, between head and whistle voice). Sue asked me why I wanted to do it and, well, whatever technique I learn, I'll simply incorprate into my next song! Another great thing as a composer / performer - I can extend my performance technique through composition as well.

Excerpt from "Meth Song"

Sue seemed to really like "Meth Song" - I have a feeling it is an important work, because it is an opportunity to discuss addiction and tackle it from a compassionate perspective. 

We worked on "Little Games" and "Meth Song" today - the higher passages were bothering me... not that I can't get that high (As, Bs) in chest voice (or combo of a bit of chest/head), but I was just sounding terrible when using actual lyrics. So Sue got me to change the vowels slightly, not so that the words became unrecognisable, but so that they became suddenly a lot easier to sing.

The spectrum of sound from "E" to "A" is fascinating, at what point does the vowel actually change? ... this is it, there isn't a precise point.

Same with sexuality, same with fact... The spectrum of reality is rooted in perception and context, so it is therefore subjective as well as objective. Given the variability of subjectivity, reality is simply chaos that we wade through hoping to understand and connect. If we connect with other people enough, at least we're not alone in our fabricated existence. 

Composer Performer?

I'm writing songs every day with the intent of performing them myself.

It's the first time that I recall that I'm writing something for me to perform. I've never done it because I never thought of myself as having any real talent for performance... but recent events have taught me that performance does not just have to be about technical proficiency (though it helps).

I've been life modelling for hens parties recently, and what I realised is that I can definitely entertain - naked or clothed - garner the energy of the room and work with it. I used to give very entertaining lectures at University of Sydney and University of Technology where I'd have classes in either stitches or get standing ovations about such great topics as budgeting, philanthropy, administration and governance in music. I guess if I can make excel entertaining anything is possible.

The Feurich piano on loan from John and Sarah Palermo for Gallop House

So I've been writing songs for me to perform on voice and piano. This is the instrument I've been working on - it has a gorgeous sound, it's a little honky-tonk in some areas as one would expect with a piano of this vintage! 

So far I've got "Little Games" which I ended up transposing up a fifth because I discovered (after some singing lessons) that it was way too low for me. Its harmonic content is pretty complex and I can only play the chords and sing at the same time with that work... I'd like to have a more rhythmic accompaniment but I need to get more confident with it first. "Come Home" in d minor is verging on simplistic, but it is easy enough for me to create a nice lilting broken chord accompaniment... there is one passage where the chords change every note, but they're all easy to get under the fingers and the melody is easy enough to sing. "Another Glass of Wine.... so I stop reminding myself of you" in E major (mind you, when I write in a key, it sort of begins in that key and sort of meanders where-ever the song takes it...), a fast song I wrote whilst having another glass to, well, as we've all done, to keep one's mind off someone. "Les Mots" I've rearranged for myself and piano accompaniment - gosh it's complex harmony to play (a-flat minor... why do I torture myself so). It is in that key because originally I had harp in it and harp sounds better in flat keys (the strings resonate better). "Meth Song" starting in D major, ending in d minor, the title is self explanatory really. "Helpless" is a pretty dark work, very clashy chords, I like it but I know it will be challenging for audiences. "Left Sock", a cute piece about leaving something behind in Sydney... of course it is a metaphor, but everyone's left something they've cared about behind them at some point, so I'm sure this work will speak to you when you hear it.

So that's 7 songs already... insane, between 1.5 mins and 6 mins each... not that I'm planning on recording an album - but I reckon I could write a few more songs, and then an outline of a piano improv piece, and hey presto I'll have a concert to present in Perth!!!

---- But I must say, writing for myself has completely shifted the way that I write. I am paying a lot of attention to my vocal range, ensuring there's flexibility with vocal lines, taking more care for breath... I should have been writing for myself at Uni I suspect..

And given I have 3 specific audiences lined up for these works, I'm also considering what showcases my best sides; harmonic, rhythmic, melodic, technique... and what I should avoid to ensure I don't come out dodgy... these are not considerations I've ever had before, and it is scary. It makes me think in future commissions I'll be more attuned to performers strengths and weaknesses...

Getting political

I have never been much of a political composer, but tonight I was inspired to write a piece about drug addiction.

The beginnings of this sketch

I am writing about a lot of personal things that come up... anything from difficulty with friends through to dealing with childhood scars. This residency at Gallop house has really allowed me to come to terms with some of the things I have inside - whether that be stuff about my past that I'm working on reconciling (when I'm ready to record "She stood there, helpless", you'll hear what I mean), or things that I'm newly confronting. 

But drug use has been a part of my life, sometimes, I felt, to the point of addiction. Alcohol has been prominent, nicotine has also been (and gone), I've used hard drugs recreationally at (amongst other times) parties, and I've been prescribed substances to help me float away from anxiety. Many artists throughout history have used drugs - marijuana, opium... 

I used to think that this was bad... indeed the laws in Australia reflect that sales and use is illegal. However other countries (like Portugal) have legalised drugs (even hard drugs), and look at a psychological healing approach to the problem of addiction, rather than a punishment approach. I recently read a book called "Chasing the Scream" by Johann Hari that really spells it out beautifully.

So, "Meth Song" starts with "I could be funny, but I'm not. I could be joyful, but I can't crack a smile"... yeah, the protagonist is depressed, severely - I've been there a number of times... to feel good it is often easier (and more acceptable) to pop a pill or light up a pipe than to reveal deep feelings and engage with the (sometimes socially difficult) ramifications of working through them.

I'll perform "Meth Song", along with others, next month at Gallop in a small gathering - testing them out for more shows later this year... 

Life modelling and the perception of time

I was life modelling this morning for a group in Bassendean, Perth, WA... they're sweet, this is my second week in a row with them and I've been invited back to next week.

This time, I took some photos of their artworks.

In essence, life modelling is about creating a pose that is interesting for artists to engage drawing with.

We start with a series of short poses, and sketches, such as these, are done to "warm up". 

Series of 8x 1 minute poses

Then go into 5 minute poses... I did 3 x 5 minute poses in the session this morning....

Then a 10 minute and a 20 minute pose. In the second half, we did 3 x 30 min poses.

It was during the first 30 minute pose that I began to lose my mind. I was impatient, because I put myself into a position that, quite frankly, one is not able to hold for 30 minutes... so I found myself trying to count the seconds...

There was some music playing in the background, an old recording of "Danny Boy" (I prefer this Sinead O'Connor version)... and the frantic sound of the scraping and rubbing of charcoal, pencil, pen on the paper.

The pace of the music, soft and laconic juxtaposed with the hurried scraping of the 20 or so artists creating works, different again to the time denoted by the seconds-hand imagined in my head, and of course the experience of time I was having as the urgency of pain and discomfort was at odds with the inherent stillness of mind and body experienced as a life model, beads of sweat from the effort trickling down my otherwise unmoving body.

What a composition of time perception. I feel like the seconds drag weighted with the concentration and pain of cramping limbs. The students feel the seconds fleet by, the deadline of the timer rushing to them as they try to complete their works before the 30 minute mark. The clock doesn't give a fuck what's happening and the soft laconic music creates a twisted over-arching warp of the whole temporal experience enabling a flux within my reality perception making me wonder if the seconds are truely measured as my perception is under strain from so many external forces.

Or maybe I'm just a bit sensitive to the polyrhythmic nature of being, hence why I notate so much of it in my work!

In any case, it was just an awesome observation... I recommend trying to be still for 20 mins, truely absolutely unblinkingly still, and perceive the paces of various components of your world (how quickly the duck swims by, how quickly are the ants scurrying around, how fast the clouds roll)... what sounds are made, in your mind, by all these elements?

Time to compose. 

New Method of Supporting Artists

Like all artists, I hate asking people for money - unless it is in exchange for an album, a ticket.... a tangible benefit in other words.

However I can't live off albums and tickets alone (even if I am getting the occaisional life modelling gig on top of it)... and I've decided that funding is also not possible to rely on (given the current climate in arts funding for individuals and the small to medium sector). It is also difficult to rely on individual commissions because many of them are only supported by very unreliable government funding, or by private patrons (and private patrons who can afford a large commission are very rare).

So I'm giving Patreon a go. They have two models, one is a monthly payment (which I've opted for) or a "per content" created basis...

my Patreon profile page

So I'm 31 now, and friends around my age generally prefer to have smaller amounts taken out of their accounts to support their culture, rather than fork out a $5k donation per year (which would be a more traditional cultural support model I reckon). Given a lot of them also don't like buying physical media, and stream music, selling albums is out too. I also hate to say it, but I often find myself also undervaluing tickets in order to ensure there will be an audience (to break even on a concert, I'd have to charge over $100 a ticket, and I'm afraid audiences just won't pay that at this stage in my career), so a subscription support model seems to make sense to me. Check out FBi Radio's support program, they've had this idea for yonks. New Matilda also offer a monthly membership vs a yearly membership. 

I think it is smart to apply this model to supporting artists - if it works for publishers and broadcasters (content providers), why not content creators?

One thing that is a little iffy about Patreon is the fact they take 10%. The thing is, I could do something using paypal, but a lot of people don't trust paypal, AND there's a lot of manual entry/admin work to do with it... using Patreon, you're able to start or stop support without any issues, and they've got a lot of very helpful tools for artists to get messages and rewards. It also takes a lot of admin work out for me. 

If you're reading this and you know my work, and believe in what I'm doing (artistically, or in media or as a not for profit director etc) then I'd ask you to consider making a contribution... something sustainable and manageable for you, whether that be the equivalent of a coffee a month, or something more substantial.... 

Check out my Patreon page here.

My agent has also joined Patreon, if you wanted to support a bunch of artists (Mary, Michael and I at this stage, but we are growing in the next month to include at least another two composers), check out the Chronology Arts Patreon page. 

If you're a student, academic or artist interested in looking into the shifting business models of artists, I'd recommend giving Patreon a go yourselves! Check it out!